A fine pair of beard scissors is to a beardsman what a fat chopper and gangbangs are to a Hells Angel. They are your sword, your varnish and your virtue, and understandably their quality is super important to your beardhood.
Traditional pansy scissors were invented pre-beard to deal with matters of the head. Compared to your beard hair, your head hair is weak and delicate, and trembles at the sight of steel.
Beard hair is much more stoic. If you attempt to cut your beard with head scissors they will merely push your beard hairs away with their flat blades instead of slicing through them. You will spend hours in front of the mirror chasing your insolent face follicles and end up matted and frustrated – which may lead you to further destroy your beard with a trimmer, or worse, commit beardicide. If this sounds displeasing then you are in urgent need of serration and Germans.
Solingen is a city in North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany. It has a population of 200,000 and is known for brewing, dyeing, weaving, brickmaking and of course, blades. Whether it be swords, knives, razors or scissors, the ‘City of Blades’ has been sharpening metal into fine instruments since the Middle Ages. So if you’re after a pair of beard scissors that can tame your beard and maim your enemies, Solingen is the place to go. Fortunately, we hooked up with the fierce and talented Germans at Dovo – blade specialists since 1906 – and have procured some of the greatest scissors known to man and beard.
Dovo Beard and Moustache scissors will outlive both you and your children. Chances are they will still be sculpting beards when the world is underwater and we base our political decisions on behavioural observations of an octopus in a ball pit.
The Dovo beard scissors measure 4.5 inches which grants them the manoeuvrability necessary to navigate the tight spots around your chin and cheeks. The scissors are flat which means they will glide over your moustache and won’t stab you in the lips. For the adroit groomers among you, the removable finger rest available on the matte steel version provides additional precision and control.
These scissors are designed specifically for trimming beards and moustaches. The edge of one blade is micro-serrated, which holds the hair in position and enables the scissors to cut cleanly and precisely. The other blade is sharpened to kill; once in position it will guillotine your hairy dissenters and force them to conform to your beardy regime.
These scissors come in two varieties - Nickel Plated Carbon Steel, and Stainless Steel with a Matte Finish. We have chosen to offer two because, while nickel is cheaper to forge, nickel allergies are surprisingly common. We also think there is not much more badass than stainless steel matte, especially when you’re describing instruments that are built to cut and slash.
So treat yourself to the finest beard scissors available and your beard might just be as fierce as the Germans.