Do you remember the famous “musk up” scene in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy when Brian Fantana – the legendary ladies’ man – reveals his prized Sex Panther cologne from his secret cabinet?
Well, if you watch it again, look real carefully at the top shelf. Assuming you haven’t lost both eyes in a tragic cannonball accident, you’ll notice an eight ball sitting smack-bang in the middle of the top shelf.
Seen it yet? (You may have to remove your eye patch for this.)
Although Fontana doesn’t mention it in the scene, we’ve got a sneaking suspicion that inside said jar lies the real secret to his success with the lady-folk: moustache wax.
Moustache wax protects and nourishes your lip rug to keep it soft, shiny and smelling great – qualities your lady friend will definitely appreciate.
It will also help you keep your moustache in shape and under control. All you need to do now is choose your cologne…
What is moustache wax?
Moustache wax is the secret ingredient that will turn your furry friend into a genuine man-stache, worthy of the highest piratical praise.
Apart from giving it the nourishment it needs to stay strong and healthy, mo wax will stop your middle-of-the-lip whiskers from getting in the way between you and your ale – although beer does contain B vitamins, which just so happen to be great for hair growth. It will also allow you to twizzle the ends of your mo to your pirate heart’s content.
Buccaneer Grooming’s ‘The Buc’ moustache wax is a slightly soft, high-quality mo wax that’s perfect for sprouting moustaches. Handcrafted with piratey love, and produced only in small batches, it’s made from a combination of natural carrier and essential oils – including Grape Seed, Jojoba Seed, Sweet Almond, Argan, and Vitamin E – and beeswax.
It contains none of that nasty synthetic stuff like PEGs and other petroleum-based compounds. And comes bottled in a small glass jar that just looks better than an eight ball. (It’s completely legal too, and contains no parts from real panthers).
It’s also infused with our signature scent of peppermint, lemongrass, and sandalwood, meaning there may be no need for that cologne after all.
(Note: if your stache’s been with you on many a night out at sea, then stay tuned for our full-strength mo wax.)
How do I use it?
Applying ‘The Buc’ mo wax to your lip upholstery is dead easy; you could probably train your parrot to do it for you.
Simply use the back of your thumbnail to scrape out 2 grains of rice worth of the stuff and rub it between your pointer finger and thumb to soften. Then rub it onto your mo from left to right and right to left. Then repeat until it’s all gone.
You’re now ready to get #recklesslyadventurous.
Take care of your moustache and it will take care of you – whether that’s attracting your first mate, helping you place at The World Beard and Moustache Championships, or just stirring up envy at your next pirate-themed party.
Oh, and if you happen to chance upon Mr. Fantana in real life, tell him to lighten up on the Sex Panther. It really does sting the nostrils.