Ten Quotes for Every Beardsman

Posted by Rhys Furner on

I’m not about to say that beards make you cooler, smarter, faster and more appealing to the opposite sex, but they definitely do. Did I mention wiser? Here is a list of the best beard wisdom from some of the bearded greats. So sit back, relax and educate yourself and your beard with the timeless insight from the hirsute.

"Ideas are like beards men don’t have them until they grow up". Voltaire.

Voltaire basically had an opinion on everything; we think this is his most valid.

"The idea that God's mercy is connected to whether or not I shave is ludicrous, and I need to just trust myself, and that, you know, if I'm deserving of God's mercy, I'll get it, regardless of, you know, my beard". Matisyahu

This Jewish American reggae beard-growing beat-boxing legend knows that all beards belong in heaven.

"The scruffier your beard, the sharper you need to dress". Ashton Kutcher

This is the most interesting thing Ashton has had to say since, well … DUDE.

"I haven't seen my face since I started growing my beard, which was when I was a teenager, almost; I never shaved. So I don't really know what I look like". Richie Havens

Face curiosity is the number one cause of Beardicide. However, beard faith is the number one cause of awesomeness.

"I have the terrible feeling that, because I am wearing a white beard and am sitting in the back of the theatre, you expect me to tell you the truth about something. These are the cheap seats, not Mount Sinai". Orson Welles

If you portray the image of wisdom you will become wise.

"At the Harvard Business School, I really felt I had gained the ability to resolve difficult issues. But I also felt that I wasn't in the mainstream with my fellow students. During job-hunting season, for example, everybody shaved their beards for interviews. I thought, 'This is crazy.' So I grew a beard". Thomas G. Stemberg

Tom, standing out from the pack (especially with a beard) is called peacocking, and you did great.

"My wife hates the beard. When we dated, I would grow it out during duck season. She said she could handle anything for three months - but now I have it all the time". Jase Robertson

Whether you blame duck season, Movember, a midlife crisis, job loss, warmth, sun protection or atavism, it doesn’t really matter. All wives eventually forget the beard hate and learn to love. Persistence always beats resistance. Also, if you’re thinking about caving in, pay attention to the next quote.

"He who sacrifices his beard for a woman deserves neither". Unknown.

Amen.  

"I'm a pretty clean eater, so my beard probably just smells like the blood of my enemies, as usual". Eric Hendrixson

And the love of his woman.

"A goatee is to beards what diamonds are to ornaments". Pawan Mishra

If you’re not going to commit, don’t bother trying.

So whether you’re bearding or about to beard, understand that you are not alone in your path to greatness, and know that one day, sometime in the distant future, someone may end up quoting you too. – Miles Bouchard.

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